The Dance of Life

Unconcealable
depression of motherhood

Have you
ever felt like crying and not quiet sure why? Well lately I feel exactly that.

I am
easily bored these days and worrying about something unknown to me, which I
find surprising because I am not normally a worrier. That’s my husband’s job.

I am starting
to feel completely overwhelmed by the demands of home management when in fact
we live in a tiny apartment. Sometimes I
reminisce those times when I used to have maids in Cambodia, things were much easier then, I mostly worry about work only and managing my maids.  I didn’t have to worry about babysitting, house chores, and cooking.  And I get to spend time with my sister and my friends whenever.  Life was easier.

It’s
funny my husband thinks I have all the time in the world to do everything but
the truth is just watching our 9 months old baby takes a lot of my time and
mind you, it’s tiring too. Not to
mention when our 6 years old girl comes home from school.

Okay I am
not complaining, I love my kids and I love my husband and I love everything I
have and I am very grateful. Even with
the fact that I can’t afford putting my babies on the hands of a sitter or
daycare, I am with them 24/7 and I know that’s a luxury – considering how many
mothers out there have to go right back to work when their babies are 3 months
old or even younger. I am lucky to have
the chance to personally raise my kids my own way and I have to keep reminding
myself that.

It’s just
that I am not a superwoman - just one typical mom who also shares feelings
and emotions like any other human being.

Being
that said, I miss my mom, my dad, my brothers and my sister. 

……..Ok Im-a gonna do some redecorating.. yet again…
Nora out!