The Dance of Life

Yep, that’s right. Mommies don’t sleep. And let me tell you why. I was in the middle of ironing clothes when I thought I should take a break and browse the internet for a few minutes. I bumped into an article about moms not being able to sleep and as I read on, I found myself nodding, I totally agree and I am sure that if you are a mom you would also agree.

In this article, Help for Sleepless Moms, it reveals that in a totally unscientific poll of mothers taken recently, no mother sleeps until her kids are grown and out of the house. My goodness, if that were true then that would mean I have countless sleepless nights ahead of me still! God help us! *laughs*

When I was single, I lack sleep because I was partying too much with my friends but when you become a mother you lack sleep because you’re “partying too much” with your kids and husband. It started during my pregnancy. I felt heavy, running to the bathroom every hour to pee, the difficulties of turning and sleeping on one side, getting kicked by the baby from inside my tummy, and all the worries I can’t sleep at night. Then when the baby came along, “boy, wasn’t that worse!” The breastfeeding that kept me up at night, having to get up to change him and or sang him a lullaby. It was exhausting.

Now that Helena is 7 yrs. Old and Wyatt’s almost 2 years, I have to keep them entertained and I can never go to bed until I have put them to sleep. Then sometimes they wake up at night and look for me and this happens most often when they are sick. And when they are sick, I am in a standby mode, ready to jump to their aid at the slightest sound.

And now look at this, an article that tells me that I still have long way to go until I get good sleep – not until my babies are adults and leave the house. This article suggests some strategies or sleep secrets for mothers but unfortunately a mother, like me, who doesn’t follow any strategies, will obviously fail in all these: 8 sleep secrets for mothers

1. Lower your expectations. (I think I pass on this one).
2. Have younger children sleep independently. (I still lie down with my babies. My husband keeps reminding me to leave the kids alone but I can’t resist my kids when they call out on me. But Mike is right, and this article is right, I shouldn’t.)
3 - 5. Get toddlers, preschooler and teens to bed by 7:30PM, 8:30PM, 9:00PM. (I extremely fail on this one and I think because my kids don’t go to bed until I read to them or until I lie down with them and the only time I can go to bed with them is after I’m done in the kitchen or house chores).
6. Establish Bedtime Routines. (I do this best, except we skip one or 2 sometimes).
7. Get the kids to help with housework. (My kids are learning).
8. Get to bed by 11:00PM. (I totally, totally fail this one)

After reading this, it makes me realize how much hours of sleep I am unconsciously missing. This is a great article and I recommend this website for more information on parenting. (http://www.rd.com/children-parenting/
“Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.” ~ Ray Romano in Everything and a Kite (Bantam)

This is the week I’m thankful I have strong healthy genes meaning I don’t get sick very often and I say genes because my siblings and parents are the same.

THE FIRST BUG VICTIM

Since last week, Mike’s been complaining of having a headache and cold and stomach problem.  I thought maybe it’s the change of weather cuz it’s started to get colder.  Then he had hard time breathing.  This is not really new because he had this problem before.  I told him to go down to the clinic to get himself checked up and maybe a prescription for an inhaler.  He used to have one but ever since we moved here in Canada he didn’t need to use it at all.  Of course he didn’t listen to me.  His cold and breathing problem continued and I didn’t stop to bug him to see the doctor.  But I’ve given him massages to make him feel better.  Finally, last Saturday my bugging him to get to the clinic sank in and went for a checkup.  When he came home, he told me the doctor said he has asthma and he has to start using inhaler again for a while.  In Asia, Mike’s asthma was caused by pollution but here I have a feeling it could be pollen and his cold could be allergy.  It is indeed the month of allergy, and a lot of people are starting to suffer from cold.  I am glad he’s got the inhaler now, it helps him.

THE PLAGUE SPREADS

The next thing I knew, Helena was having stomach problem and feeling sick, followed closely by Wyatt.  Helena had to run to the bathroom a couple of times and couldn’t eat much and as the day ends and night begins she got worse.  She woke me up a couple of times to tend to her.  Plus being awaken by Wyatt’s cry 2 or 3 times caused by teething discomfort.  I couldn’t let Mike be disturbed cause he hasn’t been feeling well lately and he had to get up early in the morning for work.  So even if I also have to get up early to prepare breakfast and lunches and ourselves for work, I had no choice but to tend to my sick kids in the middle of the night.  While Mike and Helena felt equally weak, Wyatt showed happy mood and only became whiny when his teething pain kicked in.  “I don’t like being sick, mommy, why does it have to happen to me” was Helena’s only, very apt comment that weekend.

I didn’t give any medicine to Helena but I had to give Tylenol to Wyatt when he caught the fever.  I did give all of them a “magic comfort rub from mommy”, it’s not a medicine but to them mommy’s touch cures magically and they get that a lot from me.  While diarrhea was on the way out of Helena’s system, Wyatt started to suffer from it.  From Mike to Helena to Wyatt.  On Monday, Wyatt was feverish and suddenly became very quiet.  His discomfort continued all night.  He woke up many times crying but at 3:00am I knew his cry this time was different and when I got up to comfort him, he was soaked in poops (my poor baby). He looked perfectly wretched.  I carried him to the bathroom, stripped his pajamas, ran some warm water and gave him a quickie bath.  He wasn’t happy about it but we both know it made him feel and smell better.  I had to leave him at 6:30am so I can go to work and bring Helena who was feeling much better to school.  Mike dropped Wyatt off to Papa on his way to work.  At 9:00am, I went to Papa to get Wyatt and drove us to the clinic.  Wyatt is much, much younger than Mike or Helena, and so when he gets sick like this I want him checked by the doctor.  The check up went well.  Like Helena, I had to continue on giving Wyatt fluid to avoid dehydration.  Wyatt was very clingy that day, he didn’t want to be put down.  I can feel his misery that made me take the day off.  I called work and told them I couldn’t come back for the rest of the day so I can tend to my sick baby.

THE ROAD TO RECOVERY

We stayed in bed together watching TV and sometimes reading books.  If I walked out to the kitchen or living room, he cried.  He just wanted mommy to be by his side.  A few minutes after I rubbed his tummy with baby oil, he made another explosion I had to change him in the bathroom and a quick warm bath.  We took a long nap after.  I was glad to have the nap, I needed it.  I was totally knackered.  When Wyatt and I woke up, I could tell he was on the mend.  And today, he was in fine fettle indeed.

I went to work today and when asked how I’m and my babies are doing, I replied, “I am so glad everyone in the family is feeling better and so glad that I didn’t get sick or else who would take care of them?” Then one of them who also is a mother of 2 said, “Yes, mommy tends to everyone but unfortunately nobody tends to mommy.  My mom is with me so she takes care of me.” And all I can say was, “Aaaw, sweet, I wish I had my mommy with me too.”

“A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.” ~ Cardinal Mermillod

“To a child’s ear, mother is “magic” in any language.” ~ Arlene Benedict

Being a working mom is never easy, especially when your children are not feeling too well. Today, I felt terrible leaving the house. Helena and Wyatt are feeling sick and my heart was breaking as I hear their cries behind me on my way to work this morning at six thirty. My heart was beating too fast and my mind and my heart were battling whether I should stay home or go to work.

Last night, Helena was crying cuz she wasn’t quiet sure what she was feeling. After a long, teary talk with her, I finally learned that she was having diarrhea.

Helena: (In tears, Helena approached me) Mommy, I am feeling sick, can you call my school and tell my teacher I can’t come tomorrow and make an appointment to see the doctor, please?

Nora: (I gave her a hug and checked if she has a fever) What’s wrong, baby? (Fever is negative).

Helena: (still in tears) I don’t know but my tummy feels funny and when I poop, there’s a lot of water coming out. (She always gets so upset whenever she’s not feeling well).

I thought that maybe it was dehydration – she doesn’t take a lot of liquid and it’s been really hot these past weeks. So I’ve been forcing her to drink more water. And all the more now that she’s having diarrhea. I really hate it when my kids get sick especially when sickness kicks in at night time when everyone is either asleep or resting. This is the time I wish I was a doctor. I told Mike about Helena’s condition and told me to call his dad to let him know Helena’s not going to school tomorrow. I called him but he was unavailable so I passed on the message to his mom, she suggested that I give Helena warm water to drink and to apply warm compress on Helena’s tummy, I thank her then I went online to see if Carol was online. Luckily, she was. I told her about Helena and after feeling sorry for Helena she suggested that I give Helena lots of water and some bananas and to let her poop it all. She hoped Helena feels better soon and we said goodbyes so I can tend to Helena. I trust Carol because she’s not only a best friend but also a nurse and a mother, herself.

While I was tending to Helena, I was also watching Wyatt. Since I arrived from work, he’s been very clingy to me. First I noticed was his eyes (they looked sick). Mike’s been suffering from cold and at that very time I was feeling worried that Wyatt might have caught it. I checked Wyatt for fever and was positive. I gave him Tylenol right away so he can at least sleep the night. I took Helena and Wyatt to Helena’s bedroom so Wyatt can join us while I massage Helena’s tummy and put her to sleep.

After I made Helena feel better and drifted off to sleep, I put Wyatt to bed. I must have wakened up 4 times to put Wyatt back to sleep. He wasn’t coughing but he kept waking up crying. Finally after all the lullabyes and the rocking and the swaddling/cuddling, he went back to sleep comfortably and I did, too. But at around three in the morning, Helena was in my bed waking me up in tears saying she just went to the bathroom. I cuddled with her and assured her everything will be okay. This happened 3 times. And I had to wake up at 5:30am with Mike to prepare breakfast, lunches and the kids’ things while they stay for the day with Papa (grandpa) so Mike and I can go to work. I called Papa every break time to check on the kids, I was ready to go home if the kids needed me but Papa assured me that Helena and Wyatt were doing okay. But still, deep inside of me, I wasn’t happy to go to work today, I kept thinking of my babies. (especially Helena who was shy to let anybody know she was going to the bathroom, she wouldn’t tell anyone). On my last call to Papa, he said Wyatt was still feverish but Helena seemed okay.

“A mother understands what a child does not say.” ~Jewish Proverb

“A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.” ~ Tenneva Jordan

As the summer unfolds, children continue to increase their knowledge and develop. Helena’s first week in grade 2 went well. She still wishes she was going to her old school in Victoria (she made friends there easily and her best friend goes there) but she’s doing okay at her new school. I know it was a little hard for her to be with new classmates and transition is not always easy but Helena is very likable and although she hasn’t found a best friend in this new school yet, she’s made a few good friends. I guess that it was easier at her old school where there were fewer students.

Helena was confident and quiet excited to go back to school and honestly I, do, too. I think we had enough holiday and enough days of going by with an empty pocket. It’s time for me to make money again and it’s time for Helena to experience another year of learning at school. I must admit I still have that feeling of missing my babies and being away with them while I go to work. Being together all the time in the summer and suddenly I have to leave Wyatt home and Helena to school so I can go to work is not always an easy thing for a mother. The only thing that helps me concentrate with work is knowing that they are safe. I work at the same school where Helena goes so we see each other and she joins me after school for after-school care and Wyatt stays with grandpa so I am not too worried. I just still miss them sometimes.

Hopefully this school year, Helena can find a friend that she can trust and be comfortable with like her best friend, Eliza, at her new school.

I think this year, my work schedule will be slightly easier and I am not complaining, I get to be with Wyatt more.

We’re still getting a lot of sun this September.  It’s been absolutely gorgeous everyday and I like that. But it also makes me wonder if Fall has forgotten to visit us or maybe just taking its time.

“If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.” ~Edgar W. Howe

“The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows.” ~Sydney J. Harris